Dear Sister,
Being a young woman can feel overwhelming. You have so many decisions to make without the benefit of hindsight. Who should I be and how do I become her? That’s the idea of this blog. Give advice, both big and fun that I would have appreciated when I was just starting out.
Girl, the advice I would give young Mallary if I could. She was excited about so many possibilities, but sometimes her fears of making the wrong choice held her back. There are so many topics I’m itching to talk with you about. If I could reach back in time I would start by telling young Mallary a few things.
Mallary, don’t hold off on life because you think the love of your life is around the next corner. I didn’t hold back everything, but I certainly let the hope of marriage and babies influence too much of my decisions. Now, I’m in my early thirties, unmarried and childless wishing I hadn’t waited to get started on some of my dreams. I did go to college, but agonized over the decision. What if I get married and need to stay home with babies? Yeah, that didn’t happen. I could have saved myself a lot of troubles if I just confidently pursued my dreams. Sure, if I had gotten married and became a mom young, I wouldn’t have complained. But guess what? Even if you get married and have babies that doesn’t mean you get to stay home, or that you don’t have dreams to pursue. Now, if I’m ever blessed with children, I imagine spending time writing while parenting. My idea of life has shifted, and I’m not sad. Sometimes I’m lonely, but I’m not sad that my dreams of the future are bigger. That’s not all I’d tell her.
Mallary, I’m about to get deeply personal. Don’t let bad friends and bosses let you believe you have no value. I had a group of friends I thought were the best turn their backs on me. Literally, had me save them seats at an event and then wouldn’t let me sit with them. I stared at their backs sitting all by myself. (More on that in a future post.) A few years later, I had a boss criticize my personality. What?! Yes, that among other events have contributed to me feeling like most people don’t want to be around me. Which now I know isn’t true. You can’t believe that just because some people don’t like you, no one will. I still struggle with this sometimes. I feel that sense of “they’re just pretending to like me” creep in. When you experience that, you must speak truth to yourself.
Mallary, you love expressing creativity. Just because you don’t make money from being creative doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Be creative. We were created in the image of a creative God. The gift of creativity is from him! If it brings you joy and relaxation, find time to be creative in your writing, crafting, hosting, cooking, or whatever. I’ve come to realize that when I take time to be creative I feel like life has more fulfillment than when I just plop down in front of the tv at night.
But mostly I want to create a space for young women to connect as they navigate new and exciting challenges of transitioning from girlhood to womanhood. It can be a fantastic season! It can be a tough season. And it can be a foundational season.
You can expect to find a new letter right here on Wednesdays. But I’ll also check in on social media throughout the week to connect with my little sisters.
Drop a comment below with some topics you’d love me to discuss on here.
Your big sister,
Mallary
xoxo