We can be quick to cut things and people from our lives that we don’t like. Before you cut people in your life in school or work you don’t understand, ask, why are they like that? Is this a person who needs a friend more than most?
Dear Sister,
Lately, I’ve heard a lot about cutting things from your life. A few years ago, after reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I went through everything in my apartment and paired down. It was freeing and amazing what it did for my small one-bedroom apartment. But I’ve also heard a lot of talk and seen a lot of memes about cutting toxic people from your life. Or simple, cut people from your life that don’t bring you joy. It makes me pause. I am not advocating staying in an unhealthy relationship or allowing people to mistreat you. But we need to stop and consider who is getting cut from our life.
Who is sitting next to you in class? Or at work? Do they rub you wrong because they behave differently than how you want them to? It’s easy to avoid people we find different or weird or seem like they have issues.
As a teacher, I’ve watched students get frustrated because another student is different. I can’t tell them, “Hey, they’re bipolar, and it’s just one of their bad days, don’t take it personally.” Or, “They’re autistic, and they simply need you to keep your bag off their desk.” Or, “Hey, their mom just died. Let’s give them some grace.” I would never want to embarrass or divulge personal information, but I wish I could pull some kids aside and say, don’t cut this kid out of the group because you don’t understand them. Get to know them, because guess what? This kid here, sitting next to you is the one that needs friends.
I look back at personal experiences when I was younger and cringe. Did I reach out to the friendless? Or did I do what was comfortable and stick to my friends?
Everyone is going through something; we just react to it differently. Sometimes it’s the quiet coworker that is hurting, sometimes it’s the loud kid that’s desperate for attention in class. We all have bad days or seasons. Let’s practice giving grace to those around us.
So, next time you’re around someone you don’t understand, draw them out and see if they need a friend. You won’t lose anything by being friendly. Even if I am kind to someone who later turns out to be someone that I can’t connect with, I’d rather be accused of being too kind than not kind enough.
Maybe instead of cutting people who don’t bring us joy, we should cut our first impressions of people and ask why the person next to us acts the way they do?
Your big sister,
Mallary
XOXO